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Day 1: I’ve got 99 problems and the spinach ain’t one

Posted by Guest Dei on

Problems aheadI’ve got 99 problems and the spinach ain’t one.

Well really I have 87 problems but it didn’t sound very Jay-Z at all. 87 kilos. Mmmm. Maybe I’ve got a giant 27 kilo growth in my stomach like that lady in Austria just had removed.

This is the lifestyle change proper (isn’t that saying annoying?).

About 6 months ago I bought my juicer from Juice and Blend. I decided at the time that instead of spending money on a gym membership, I would invest in my health a different way. So I have been juicing once a week, twice at the most. I love my juicer, it’s easy to use and clean and the juice is fantastic and the whole family drinks it (provided it doesn’t contain a vegetable). My dreams of juicing everyday faded - I am far too busy working or looking for the perfect job or my next vintage furniture project/purchase on the internet (or watching Spider Dog on youtube).

It’s fair to say I have been here before. A couple of years ago I participated in a study at Victoria University testing if acupuncture and nutrition advice together could help in weight loss. It did at the time – the acupuncture was so relaxing I would have a lovely rest for half an hour each week. I also had to keep a diary of the food I was eating and get measured each week (although finding my waist proved a challenge to them). I think I lost about 5kg over a 12 week period. Since then I have had a gym membership, personal training and group personal training and attended various other classes along the way. Somewhere in there, I was very fit, healthy and could pick anything out of my wardrobe to wear. Then I changed jobs and was working less. Less work = less money, so I stopped the training classes. The 8km runs were reduced to walking the dog for 15 – 30 minutes a day.

I’m sure you’ve heard this quote or seen it posted on Facebook:

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

So, once again I am faced with the facts that unless I change my diet, I will continue to put on weight. Unfortunately we aren’t still in the Renaissance period when curves and tummies were in. And who is responsible for pastels coming back in for summer?

Two things amused me reading the Sun newspaper this morning:

  1. Football and Terrorist High Alert stories both made it to the front page. What’s wrong with the editors? It’s Finals in Melbourne.

  2. An article in the Home magazine had a tip for organisation. “Only keep what you absolutely love and what fits you”. Ok, that leaves me with my scarves, some shoes and anything made out of a material that stretches to 5 times its normal size.

I am going back to basics and will over the next few weeks try to have juice instead of unhealthy food for snacks. I may even do some detox days (don’t get your hopes up).

Even though I have experimented with some vegetable juices (I’m quite partial to beetroot, carrot, celery, apple and ginger – it’s just like landing headfirst in a pile of fresh compost), I am going to be guided by Juice and Blend (J&B) and start with some simple ones first and move up to the more daring. I am concerned about one thing. My kale phobia. So far I have bought 2 lots of kale. They have both looked impressive in the fridge for 2 weeks. The first bunch was even organic from the farmers’ market. We couldn’t afford to buy any other food that week thanks to the low carbon footprint of delivering the kale to the market. The worm farm got both bunches. The worms will never get cancer. I also tried buying a drink from the supermarket. It had kiwi fruit, celery, cucumber and kale. It was very green and the most disgusting thing I have tasted. I have an iron stomach, but I couldn’t finish that drink. I also don’t understand the concept of kale chips. Kale baked with oil and salt. Is that supposed to make it taste nice?

I have been to the fruit shop today to get ingredients and I don’t have to buy kale until next week (phew!).

Time to rest now, for tomorrow we juice.